Hollywood ’s later retro craze is board games , what with Ridley Scott directingan substitute property Monopoly movieand Peter Berg helminga Battleship flick about aliens . But what if other directors made game movies ? What if Joss Whedon directed POGs ?
https://gizmodo.com/ridley-scotts-monopoly-movie-is-about-parallel-universe-5402621
https://gizmodo.com/epic-alien-battleship-movie-leaks-the-details-on-the-ne-5416779
We do n’t know what ’s weirder – the fact that board games are the new hot target of Hollywood nostalgia - whoring , or that these upcoming plot moving picture are tapping science fiction tropes for breathing in . What if this course continues to snowball in the years to come ? link io9 as we ponder a creatively bankrupt time to come in which some of our favourite auteurs have put a scifi twist on otherwise plotless childhood games .
5 . ) Darren Aronofsky ’s Pac - Man
Genre : Paranormal noir
Plot : Guillaume Homme - Pac is a mentally - sick pensioner who live in Sunset Park , Brooklyn . He is a recluse and only leaves the apartment to buy anti - psychotic medication which he compile using a phone number of forged prescription drug . He exhaust near toxic sum of these pills nightly , for every eve he is visited by four mysterious wraith – Arnaud , Patrice , Benoît , and Clyde – who chase Monsieur Homme - Pac through the diseased labyrinths of his own mind . Although the medication keeps the spectre at alcove , it is eroding Homme - Pac ’s wellness and sanity .
Monsieur Homme - Pac ’s ex - married woman Josette lives down the hallway from him . She still bang and handle for Guillaume , but his delusion placed an unsurmountable strain on their wedlock . Madame Homme - Pac is never seen without her trademark scarlet Givenchy beret . Josette supplies her married man with the prescription , but she hate herself for doing so . unbeknown to Guillaume , she too is haunted by four ghosts – Inès , Paulette , Babette , and Sue .
Cast :
Guillaume Homme - Pac : Jean Reno
Josette Homme - Pac : Sophie Marceau
Clyde : Flea
Sample Scene :
[ JOSETTE pink on the GUILLAUME ’S DOOR . He answer , fume a Gitanes Blondes . Cue Clint Mansell ambient track . ]
GUILLAUME : Jo .
JOSETTE : I hear you last night . I take heed you yelling again . About the maze , the blue walls . I take heed it all .
GUILLAUME : [ impassively ] Why were you up at that time of day ?
JOSETTE : [ break and looks off ] You woke me . I brought you this .
[ She foists a brown grocery bag into GUILLAUME ’S hand . It is filled with fruit . He picks up a box of Super Pretzels that is oddly on top . He eyeball it , face blank . ]
JOSETTE : They were on sales agreement .
GUILLAUME : nutrient will not make them go by .
JOSETTE : When will they go forth ?
GUILLAUME : When I drill a hole in my head . When I spiral into nothing . When someone stumble on the fireplug .
[ He slam dance the door . ]
4 . ) J.J. Abrams ’ Candy Land
Genre : Time - locomotion espionage thriller
patch : On the day of her high shoal graduation , Threnody Crisco receives a varsity letter from her father , who died before she was expect . It ferment out he is still alive and the king of the Kan - Di , a clip - travel race of hyper - evolved homo sapiens who have been strand in the past . Even worse , he and his royal court are being vivisect in Compound 47 , a gamy - tech prison secretly have by Japanese confectionery conglomerate Tagruato . The corporation is experimenting on the Kan - Di and essay to rescind - engineering Threnody ’s father ’s chrono - jump lighthouse , “ The Red Gumdrop . ”
In addition to saving her papa , Threnody must defeat her double-faced uncle Lord Cassius Lucreze ( who deport King Kan - Di to the past ) and her female parent , the supercilious Queen Frostine . Little does coronach know that Lord Lucreze has been plotting against her for age . Her boyfriend , University of Michigan frosh Gus Glopert , is actually a shape - shifting bravo and Lucreze ’s # 2 , General Glopius .
Threnody Crisco : Keri Russell
King Kan - Di : Lance Reddick
Lord Cassius Lucreze : Nestor Carbonell
Queen Frostine : Maggie Q
The Grand Matriarch Filbert : Simon Pegg
Gus Glopert / General Glopius : Ian Somerhalder / Terry O’Quinn
Magic Overalls ( voice ): Carlton Cuse
3 . ) Werner Herzog ’s Tic - Tac - Toe
Genre : Post - apocalyptic thoughtfulness among the ruins
Plot : In an abysmal time to come , only two beings exist : X and O , immortal god - kings driven insane by technology and purdah . They divide the ruined populace between , partitioning the Earth into nations of which they are the only citizens . X and O are undying , and this pointless war game is the only pastime they know . They have forgotten their names , household , and scruples . Like Cain and Abel , they only fuck the barbarity that is the inwardness of civilization .
X and O go on this Manichean frivolity until the sun supernova . Only then will Earth finally become a proper Hell , baptized by fire .
O : Brad Dourif
go : Dolph Lundgren ( with the digitally superpose face of Klaus Kinski )
Grizzly bear : Nicolas Cage
[ disco biscuit and group O stare into each other ’s eyes . They put up in burnt chaparral . ]
X : X.
group O : O.
[ A GRIZZLY BEAR ambles by . It croak of import . ]
[ THE SUN supernova . ]
2 . ) Paul Verhoeven ’s Snakes and Ladders
Genre : titillating bio - repulsion
plot of ground : In a dystopian Detroit , a unusual phenomenon occurs every night . unusual aureate ladder materialize on the street , beckoning gentleman’s gentleman to climb up . Those who have live virtuously are rewarded with a naked play with a three - front woman ; those men who have committed unfairness encounter a hungry three - head up hydra , who regorge their bones onto the boulevard below . detective Quaid Hauser and Malone Nomi must end the animate being ’s deadly feast . But whereas Detective Hauser attempt to break the beast ’s seemingly arbitrary moral computer code – indeed , she condemns comely humanity for their childhood rascalities – the cybernetic Detective Nomi has but one imperative : hemipteran Holman Hunt .
Detective Quaid Hauser : Kurtwood Smith
Detective Malone Nomi : Casper Van Dien
Three - Breasted Woman : Gina Gershon
Victim No . 4 : Jake Busey
1 . ) Joss Whedon ’s POGs
Genre : Slumber party space odyssey
game : Earth is under the thrall of the so - bid “ POG Tribunal , ” which consists of three tyrannic demon race : the Ankylosaurus - same “ Pineapples , ” the mottled , vampiric “ Oranges , ” and the “ Guavas , ” who look like exactly like world but smell mistily of yield lick . The POGs have barricaded our planet behind a heavy military unit field and are mind - wiping all survivors for utilization as domestics . Earth has only one Leslie Townes Hope to break in this roadblock : the starship Slammer , which is piloted by a trio of brassy sorceress known as the Furies . The Furies are perpetually accompanied by their janitor , Ralston , who suffer from psychosomatic erectile disfunction .
Maxi Fleetfoot : Charisma Carpenter
Mag Sammich : Eliza Dushku
Lt . Zeena Spandau : Summer Glau
Ralston : Alan Tudyk
[ Interior of the Slammer . RALSTON has some down time and is delight his favored hobby : macramé ]
RALSTON : The sooner I macramé this ski cap , the sooner my pinna will be warm . Mmmm , macraméy .
[ MAG SAMMICH , MAXI FLEETFOOT , and ZEENA SPANDAU tread in . ]
MAG : Get the fuck out of here , Ralston . The Herkies need the conference room .
[ “ The Herkies , ” of course , is the Furies ’ pet term for themselves , as they compare their gang of space vigilance man to the 1960s Hanna - Barbera cartoon The Herculoids . ]
RALSTON : Sigh . Now it is time for me to be alone . In space . Appropriate .
[ RALSTON shamble off . He falls at peace in an air lock and asphyxiates whilst clutching a pair of gym short pants he lift from Zeena ’s boudoir . ]
Darren AronofskyJJ AbramsJoss WhedonMoviesPaul VerhoevenWerner Herzog
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